What’s A Strap-On?
It’s a sex toy ensemble that includes a harness worn around the waist
or hips and a special dildo that fits into it. Strap-ons give women
artificial penises right where one should hang, or they give men an
extra penis, one that may be firmer and more cooperative than their real
one.
Why Strap-Ons Can Be a Turn-On
Why fuss with a harness? Why not just use a regular dildo and guide
it where you want it to go by hand? That’s what most dildo users do. But
strap-on sex offers a different experience, one that produces a unique
erotic connection, and possibly deeper intimacy:
• Strap-ons free the hands, and allow dildo play to be complemented by two-handed caresses.
• Strap-ons invite gender-bending. Women can play at being men, thrusting their hips during intercourse.
• Strap-ons allow men to play at having more than they were born
with. Using a small dildo, men feel larger by comparison. Using a larger
one, men can fantasize
that they’re super-endowed porn stars. (Men who have firm erections may
need to make adjustments so that their real one and the dildo don't
interfere with each other.)
• In addition, having two penises opens the possibly of double
penetration—one in the woman’s vagina, the other in her anus, assuming
she’s open to that. (If so, use lots of lube, and start with a small
dildo.)
• Strap-ons can also help men compensate for erection problems, providing a way for the couple to experience intercourse.
• Strap-ons provide a unique visual treat that some lovers find exciting, an invitation to let go and get a little wild.
• Finally, strap-ons can deepen intimacy. Many couples don’t talk
much about their lovemaking. They just do it. Because strap-on sex
expands erotic possibilities and encourages sexual experimentation,
couples need to discuss how they want to proceed. Strap-ons encourage
lovers to communicate more openly about sex, discussions that many
couples find arousing and intimacy-enhancing.
Unfortunately, some curious hetero couples feel reluctant to
experiment with the woman wearing the strap-on because of two myths:
Myth: Men who enjoy being anally entered by women with strap-ons are gay.
Truth: Not at all. Gay men enjoy kissing. Is kissing gay? Sexual orientation is
all about the gender you want your lover to be. It has nothing to do
with what lovers do in bed. Some gay men enjoy recipient anal play.
Others don’t. Many 100 percent heterosexual men enjoy having their
anuses massaged, fingered, and entered by butt plugs and/or dildos,
including strap-ons. Heterosexual men who enjoy recipient strap-on play
are not gay. They’re heterosexuals who enjoy receptive anal.
Myth: Women who enter men anally with strap-ons secretly want to be men.
Truth: Nonsense. A century ago, women who wore pants were accused of harboring unconscious
desires to be men. Now we know that slacks are just another form of
clothing, and that wearing them carries no psychological implications.
The same goes for strap-on play. Part of the allure for some women
involves the opportunity to play at being “male.” But for others,
strap-ons carry no gender-bending implications, just exciting erotic
possibilities.
All About Strap-On Harnesses
There are two basic styles: thongs and jocks. Each has advantages and
disadvantages. The choice is a matter of personal preference.
In thong-style harnesses, one strap circles the waist or hips and
attaches in front to the dildo holder, which hangs down from it. The
other strap connects to the base of the front piece then runs between
wearer’s legs attaching to the waist/hip strap in back. Things to
consider:
• Thong harnesses have fewer straps than jock-style harnesses, so fewer adjustments.
• Some people find thongs more comfortable than jock-style harnesses.
• The strap that runs between the legs provides genital and anal stimulation some people enjoy.
In jock-style harnesses, one strap circles the waist or hips and
attaches to the front piece. Two other straps attach to the base or
sides of the front piece and circle the thighs, attaching in back.
Things to consider:
• Some people prefer this look and find jock-style harnesses more comfortable than thongs.
• The extra strap provides extra support for the dildo.
• The wearer’s anus and genitals are not covered by any strap, an advantage for some.
Harness straps may be leather, nylon, or elastic. Each has a
different feel. Nylon and elastic can be popped into washing machines.
Leather requires more care but some people prefer that look and feel.
Front pieces are also fashioned from different materials: leather, velvet, stiffened neoprene, and rubber.
Fitting Your Harness with the Right Dildo(s)
Harnesses are typically marketed in kits that include dildos designed
to fit that specific holder. However, you might also like to add one or
more extra dildos. Some considerations:
• Strap-on dildos have flared, flat bases to fit snugly in the holder.
• Some stick straight out, others curve. Depending how curved models
sit positioned in the holder, they may curve up, down, or to the side.
Each position allows different erotic stimulation.
• Dildo firmness varies somewhat. Some people prefer very flexible
dildos. Others prefer firmer models. Jelly dildos are most flexible.
Tips for Strap-On Enjoyment
• Compared with other sex toys, strap-ons are more elaborate. Straps
must be adjusted. Dildos must to be fitted into holders. Take your time.
At first, you may feel awkward. Maintain a sense of humor.
• Always use plenty of lubricant. All dildos and the openings they enter should be generously lubricated before insertion.
• At first, the inserter should remain still, allowing the recipient
to do the moving, engulfing the dildo instead of being penetrated. The
rear-entry (doggie style) position works well. This is particularly
important when women wear the harness and insert into men.
• Women have little experience with male-style hip thrusting, and should ask for coaching from recipients.
• Strap-ons allow the wearer’s hands to remain free during erotic coupling. Use your hands. Caress your lover all over.
• If men wear the harness, they might alternate inserting their
erections (if they have them) and the strap-on dildo into women’s erotic
openings.
• If the man wears the harness and the woman is open to double entry,
he can insert his penis and the dildo simultaneously into the woman’s
vagina and anus.
• When women wear the harness, the holder typically covers the
clitoris. Some women enjoy the clitoral stimulation that results when
the base of the dildo presses the holder against it. Others miss direct
clitoral stimulation.
• Owning a strap-on doesn’t obligate you to use it. Some couples use them every time they make love, but most play that way only occasionally, when they’re in the mood.
Strap-on dildos and harness kits are available from most sex toy catalogues.
When you buy sex toys from delhisextoy.com
Start your strap on adventure with this beginner friendly silicone sex toy.
American Whopper 6.5" Dong Vibrating With Harness SO-006
Starfish Strap on Vibrator Seven junction SO-004
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